Table of Contents
The Funeral Is Just the Beginning: Everything You Need to Do When a Loved One Dies
• Preface
• Introduction
• How to Use this Book
o Hire an Attorney
o Pace Yourself
• Notifying Friends, Family, Employers, and Others
o Friends and Family
o Your Loved One’s Employer, Employees, and Colleagues
o Canceling Mail, Telemarketers, and Other Solicitors
• Last-Minute Travel
o Bereavement Fares
o Retroactive Refunds
o Booking Tickets Online
o Airlines That Offer Bereavement Fares
o Airlines That Do Not Offer Bereavement Fares
o Car Service
o Car Rental Companies
o Baby Equipment Rentals
o Certified Child Care
• Transporting a Body by Plane
o Using a Commercial Airline
o Using a Shipping Service
o Cost of Shipping Human Remains
o Human Remains Shipping Resources
• Donating a Body to Science
o How It Works
o The Donation Process
o Where to Donate a Body
• Cremation
o Cremation Process
o Planning a Cremation
o Cost of Cremation
o ID Viewing
o Cremation Paperwork
o Traveling with Cremated Remains
o Cost of an Urn
o Placement of an Urn
o Placing or Scattering Cremains on Land
o Scattering Cremated Remains at Sea
o Cremation Resources
• Writing the Obituary
o First Sentence of the Obituary
o Second Sentence of the Obituary
o Additional Sentences
o Concluding the Obituary
• Your Rights at a Funeral Home
o Appoint an Advocate
o Emotional Overspending
o Involving Your Church or Synagogue
o Purchasing a Casket
o Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule
o Overview of the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule
o An Exception to the Funeral Rule
o Violations of the Funeral Rule
o Paperwork Related to the Funeral Rule
o Further Reading
o Funeral Resources
• Funeral Home Sales Tactics
o Appoint an Advocate
o Don’t Mistake Kindness for Trustworthiness
o Presentation of Caskets
o The Service Story
o Preying on Guilt and Grief
o The Term “Traditional”
o The Term “Average”
o The Term “Required by Law”
o ID Viewing
o “Who Is Paying for the Funeral Expenses?”
o Further Reading
• Planning a Funeral
o One Step at a Time
o Funeral Planning Checklist
o Funeral Costs
o Creating the Funeral Program
o Safety Precaution
o Alternative Funerals
o Funeral Resources
• Writing a Eulogy
o How to Begin a Eulogy
o Structure of a Eulogy
o Presentation of a Eulogy
• Funeral Etiquette
o Before the Funeral
o Attire
o At the Funeral
o Offering Condolences
o Children Attending a Funeral
o Pallbearers
o Graveside Service
o Reception
• Catholic Funerals
o Last Rites
o Embalming and Cremation
o The Wake
o Attire
o The Funeral Liturgy, or Mass
o Rite of Committal
• Christian Funerals
o Before the Funeral
o Attire
o At the Funeral
o Funeral Procession
o Reception
• Jewish Funerals
o Before the Funeral
o Attire
o Embalming and Cremation
o Preparing the Body for Burial
o At the Funeral
o Burial
o Shiva
o Unveiling
• Memorial Services
o Before the Service
o Attire
o Planning the Service
o Choosing an Officiant
o Elements of a Memorial Service
o Memory Books
o Reception
o Memorial Service Checklist
o Memorial Service Costs
o Creating the Memorial Program
o Safety Precaution
o Memorial Service Resources
• Memorial Options
o Online Memorials
o Online Memorial Sites
o Memorial Suggestions
o Memorial Resources
• Mandatory Death Notifications
o Notify Newspapers
o Notify the Social Security Administration
o Notify Veterans Affairs
• Death Certificate
o Included in the Death Certificate
o Acquiring Additional Copies of the Death Certificate
• Grief Support
o The Five Stages of Grief
o How Long Does Grief Last?
o Common Grief Reactions
o I Can’t Do This
o Coping With Grief
o Don’t Judge Your Grief
o When It All Falls Apart, Go Back to the Basics
o Seek Support
o Helping Someone Who Is Grieving
o Online Grief Resources
⁃ General Grief Support
⁃ Loss of a Child
⁃ Loss of a Parent
▪ For Children and Teens
▪ For Adults
⁃ Loss of a Sibling
⁃ Loss of a Spouse or Partner
⁃ Loss of a Grandchild
⁃ Loss Due to Suicide
⁃ Sudden or Violent Death
⁃ Military Loss
⁃ Find a Mental Health Practitioner
o Further Reading
• If There Is Not a Will
o Intestate
o Partial Intestate
o Determining Next of Kin
o Settling an Estate
o A Word of Warning
o What Goes Through Probate
o Order of Estate and Probate Payment
o Procuring a Lawyer
o Estates Worth Less Than $50,000*
o Safe Deposit Boxes
o Surviving Spouse
o Guardianship and Power of Attorney
o How Long Does It Take to Settle an Estate?
o Further Reading
o Additional Legal Resources
• If There Is a Will
o Testate
o Partial Testate
o Contesting or Challenging a Will
o Personal Representative
o Responsibilities of the Personal Representative
o Executing a Will
o A Word of Warning
o Order of Estate and Probate Payment
o What Goes Through Probate
o Procuring a Lawyer
o Safe Deposit Boxes
o Surviving Spouse
o Guardianship and Power of Attorney
o How Long Does It Take to Settle an Estate?
o Further Reading
o Additional Legal Resources
• If You Are the Personal Representative of a Will
o Administration Fee
o Open a Bank Account for the Estate
o Personal Representative’s Fiduciary Duty
o Responsibilities of the Personal Representative
o How Long Does It Take to Settle an Estate?
o Further Reading
• If You Are the Trustee of a Trust
o Administration Fee
o Responsibilities of the Trustee
o Taxes on a Trust
o Further Reading
• Probate Overview
o Who Oversees Probate
o Formal vs. Informal Probate
o The Probate Process
o Appointment of a Personal Representative
o Responsibilities of the Personal Representative
o What Goes Through Probate
o What Doesn’t Go Through Probate
o Estates Worth Less Than $50,000*
o Those Who Have Legal Standing in Probate
o How Long Does It Take to Complete Probate?
o Advantages of Probate
o A Word of Warning
o Probate Attorney Fees
o Expenses to Expect
o Guardianship and Power of Attorney
o Further Reading
o Probate Resources
• Children Under 18: Custody and Guardianship
o If One Parent Dies
o If Both Parents Die
o Petitioning for Guardianship
o Foster Care
o Types of Guardianship
o Supervision of Guardians
• Finding a Lawyer
o Evaluating a Lawyer
o Locate a Lawyer in Your Area
• What to Bring to a Lawyer
o Checklist of Documents to Bring to a Lawyer
• Property, Accounts, and Debts
o Before You Begin
o Property
o Leased Apartment
o Canceling Utilities
o Bank Accounts
o Investments, Stocks, Bonds, Mutual Funds, 401K, IRA, and Roth Accounts
o Guardianship and Power of Attorney
o Outstanding Debts
o Buy-Sell Agreements in Business
• Credit Cards
o Who Is Responsible for the Deceased’s Credit Card Debt?
o A Word of Warning
o Notifying Credit Card Bureaus
o Sample Letter to Credit Bureaus
• Listing Assets
o Valuing Assets
o IRS Regulations
o Real Estate
o How to List Assets
⁃ Real Estate
⁃ Vehicles
⁃ Bank Accounts
⁃ Investment and Brokerage Firms
⁃ Bonds
⁃ Mutual Funds
⁃ Stocks
⁃ Limited Partnerships
⁃ Employee Benefits
⁃ Life Insurance
⁃ Miscellaneous Benefits
⁃ Outstanding Amounts Due to the Deceased
• Filing Taxes
o Income Tax
o Inheritance Tax
o Trust Tax
o Estate Tax
o Which Assets Are Counted?
o Valuing Assets
o IRS Regulations
o Deductions
o Attorneys and Accountants: Assistance with Valuing Assets
o Additional Resources
• Appraising Personal Property
o An Item’s Value
o Choosing an Appraiser
o Fees for Appraiser
o Contingency Fee
o Appraisal Report
o Further Reading
o Additional Resources
• Estate Sales and Brokerages
o Estate Sale Process
o Conducting an Estate Sale
o Hiring an Estate Sale or Brokerage Professional
o Further Reading
o Additional Resources
• Claiming Employee Benefits
o Death Benefit
o Annuity, Insurance, and Retirement Plans
o Pension Benefits
o Wages Due
o Other Employee Benefits
• Claiming Life Insurance
o Four Types of Life Insurance
• Claiming Social Security Benefits
o Death Benefit
o Survivor Benefits
o Social Security Administration: Application Information
o Documents Required to File for Social Security Survivor Benefits
• Claiming Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Military (Active Service) Benefits vs. Veterans Benefits
o Families Applying for Active Service Benefits
o Families Applying for Veterans Benefits
o Overview of Military (Active Service) Benefits
o How to Begin the Application Process for Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Privacy Act and Authorization for Disclosure of Information
o Documents Required to Apply for Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Funeral Arrangements for Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Transporting a Fallen Soldier’s Body by Air
o Military Branch Survivor Benefits
o Additional Military Resources
• Claiming Veterans Benefits
o Veterans Benefits vs. Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Overview of Veterans Benefits Available
o Required Documents to Apply for Veterans Benefits
o Request Military Service Records
o Veterans Benefits: Application Information
o Veterans Affairs Offices
o Survivors Assistance
o Funeral and Burial Benefits
o Funeral Honors
o Claiming Funeral and Burial Benefits
• Cleaning Out a Residence
o Sorting Personal Belongings
o Shredding Documents
⁃ Mobile Shredding Companies (will come to you)
⁃ Stores That Offer In-House Shredding
o Donation Resources
o Sell Items Yourself
o Shipping Services for Smaller Items
o Moving and Shipping Services
o Portable Storage and Moving Containers
o Storage Facilities
o Senior Relocation Services
o Cleaning Services
o Recycling and Waste Services
o Realtors
o Further Reading
• Vehicles
o Transferring a Vehicle’s Title at the DMV
o Car Insurance
o Selling a Car
o DMV Directory
o Car Brokers
o Car Shipping
o Donate a Car
• Relocating Pets
o Vet Certification
o Transporting Animals by Air
o Companies That Transport Animals by Air
o Companies That Transport Animals by Ground
o Airlines That Allow Pets as Carry-On
o No-Kill Animal Shelters
• Checklists
o First Things First
o After the Funeral
o With the Lawyer
o In Your Own Time
• Acknowledgments
• About the Author
Back to Buy the Book
• Introduction
• How to Use this Book
o Hire an Attorney
o Pace Yourself
• Notifying Friends, Family, Employers, and Others
o Friends and Family
o Your Loved One’s Employer, Employees, and Colleagues
o Canceling Mail, Telemarketers, and Other Solicitors
• Last-Minute Travel
o Bereavement Fares
o Retroactive Refunds
o Booking Tickets Online
o Airlines That Offer Bereavement Fares
o Airlines That Do Not Offer Bereavement Fares
o Car Service
o Car Rental Companies
o Baby Equipment Rentals
o Certified Child Care
• Transporting a Body by Plane
o Using a Commercial Airline
o Using a Shipping Service
o Cost of Shipping Human Remains
o Human Remains Shipping Resources
• Donating a Body to Science
o How It Works
o The Donation Process
o Where to Donate a Body
• Cremation
o Cremation Process
o Planning a Cremation
o Cost of Cremation
o ID Viewing
o Cremation Paperwork
o Traveling with Cremated Remains
o Cost of an Urn
o Placement of an Urn
o Placing or Scattering Cremains on Land
o Scattering Cremated Remains at Sea
o Cremation Resources
• Writing the Obituary
o First Sentence of the Obituary
o Second Sentence of the Obituary
o Additional Sentences
o Concluding the Obituary
• Your Rights at a Funeral Home
o Appoint an Advocate
o Emotional Overspending
o Involving Your Church or Synagogue
o Purchasing a Casket
o Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule
o Overview of the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule
o An Exception to the Funeral Rule
o Violations of the Funeral Rule
o Paperwork Related to the Funeral Rule
o Further Reading
o Funeral Resources
• Funeral Home Sales Tactics
o Appoint an Advocate
o Don’t Mistake Kindness for Trustworthiness
o Presentation of Caskets
o The Service Story
o Preying on Guilt and Grief
o The Term “Traditional”
o The Term “Average”
o The Term “Required by Law”
o ID Viewing
o “Who Is Paying for the Funeral Expenses?”
o Further Reading
• Planning a Funeral
o One Step at a Time
o Funeral Planning Checklist
o Funeral Costs
o Creating the Funeral Program
o Safety Precaution
o Alternative Funerals
o Funeral Resources
• Writing a Eulogy
o How to Begin a Eulogy
o Structure of a Eulogy
o Presentation of a Eulogy
• Funeral Etiquette
o Before the Funeral
o Attire
o At the Funeral
o Offering Condolences
o Children Attending a Funeral
o Pallbearers
o Graveside Service
o Reception
• Catholic Funerals
o Last Rites
o Embalming and Cremation
o The Wake
o Attire
o The Funeral Liturgy, or Mass
o Rite of Committal
• Christian Funerals
o Before the Funeral
o Attire
o At the Funeral
o Funeral Procession
o Reception
• Jewish Funerals
o Before the Funeral
o Attire
o Embalming and Cremation
o Preparing the Body for Burial
o At the Funeral
o Burial
o Shiva
o Unveiling
• Memorial Services
o Before the Service
o Attire
o Planning the Service
o Choosing an Officiant
o Elements of a Memorial Service
o Memory Books
o Reception
o Memorial Service Checklist
o Memorial Service Costs
o Creating the Memorial Program
o Safety Precaution
o Memorial Service Resources
• Memorial Options
o Online Memorials
o Online Memorial Sites
o Memorial Suggestions
o Memorial Resources
• Mandatory Death Notifications
o Notify Newspapers
o Notify the Social Security Administration
o Notify Veterans Affairs
• Death Certificate
o Included in the Death Certificate
o Acquiring Additional Copies of the Death Certificate
• Grief Support
o The Five Stages of Grief
o How Long Does Grief Last?
o Common Grief Reactions
o I Can’t Do This
o Coping With Grief
o Don’t Judge Your Grief
o When It All Falls Apart, Go Back to the Basics
o Seek Support
o Helping Someone Who Is Grieving
o Online Grief Resources
⁃ General Grief Support
⁃ Loss of a Child
⁃ Loss of a Parent
▪ For Children and Teens
▪ For Adults
⁃ Loss of a Sibling
⁃ Loss of a Spouse or Partner
⁃ Loss of a Grandchild
⁃ Loss Due to Suicide
⁃ Sudden or Violent Death
⁃ Military Loss
⁃ Find a Mental Health Practitioner
o Further Reading
• If There Is Not a Will
o Intestate
o Partial Intestate
o Determining Next of Kin
o Settling an Estate
o A Word of Warning
o What Goes Through Probate
o Order of Estate and Probate Payment
o Procuring a Lawyer
o Estates Worth Less Than $50,000*
o Safe Deposit Boxes
o Surviving Spouse
o Guardianship and Power of Attorney
o How Long Does It Take to Settle an Estate?
o Further Reading
o Additional Legal Resources
• If There Is a Will
o Testate
o Partial Testate
o Contesting or Challenging a Will
o Personal Representative
o Responsibilities of the Personal Representative
o Executing a Will
o A Word of Warning
o Order of Estate and Probate Payment
o What Goes Through Probate
o Procuring a Lawyer
o Safe Deposit Boxes
o Surviving Spouse
o Guardianship and Power of Attorney
o How Long Does It Take to Settle an Estate?
o Further Reading
o Additional Legal Resources
• If You Are the Personal Representative of a Will
o Administration Fee
o Open a Bank Account for the Estate
o Personal Representative’s Fiduciary Duty
o Responsibilities of the Personal Representative
o How Long Does It Take to Settle an Estate?
o Further Reading
• If You Are the Trustee of a Trust
o Administration Fee
o Responsibilities of the Trustee
o Taxes on a Trust
o Further Reading
• Probate Overview
o Who Oversees Probate
o Formal vs. Informal Probate
o The Probate Process
o Appointment of a Personal Representative
o Responsibilities of the Personal Representative
o What Goes Through Probate
o What Doesn’t Go Through Probate
o Estates Worth Less Than $50,000*
o Those Who Have Legal Standing in Probate
o How Long Does It Take to Complete Probate?
o Advantages of Probate
o A Word of Warning
o Probate Attorney Fees
o Expenses to Expect
o Guardianship and Power of Attorney
o Further Reading
o Probate Resources
• Children Under 18: Custody and Guardianship
o If One Parent Dies
o If Both Parents Die
o Petitioning for Guardianship
o Foster Care
o Types of Guardianship
o Supervision of Guardians
• Finding a Lawyer
o Evaluating a Lawyer
o Locate a Lawyer in Your Area
• What to Bring to a Lawyer
o Checklist of Documents to Bring to a Lawyer
• Property, Accounts, and Debts
o Before You Begin
o Property
o Leased Apartment
o Canceling Utilities
o Bank Accounts
o Investments, Stocks, Bonds, Mutual Funds, 401K, IRA, and Roth Accounts
o Guardianship and Power of Attorney
o Outstanding Debts
o Buy-Sell Agreements in Business
• Credit Cards
o Who Is Responsible for the Deceased’s Credit Card Debt?
o A Word of Warning
o Notifying Credit Card Bureaus
o Sample Letter to Credit Bureaus
• Listing Assets
o Valuing Assets
o IRS Regulations
o Real Estate
o How to List Assets
⁃ Real Estate
⁃ Vehicles
⁃ Bank Accounts
⁃ Investment and Brokerage Firms
⁃ Bonds
⁃ Mutual Funds
⁃ Stocks
⁃ Limited Partnerships
⁃ Employee Benefits
⁃ Life Insurance
⁃ Miscellaneous Benefits
⁃ Outstanding Amounts Due to the Deceased
• Filing Taxes
o Income Tax
o Inheritance Tax
o Trust Tax
o Estate Tax
o Which Assets Are Counted?
o Valuing Assets
o IRS Regulations
o Deductions
o Attorneys and Accountants: Assistance with Valuing Assets
o Additional Resources
• Appraising Personal Property
o An Item’s Value
o Choosing an Appraiser
o Fees for Appraiser
o Contingency Fee
o Appraisal Report
o Further Reading
o Additional Resources
• Estate Sales and Brokerages
o Estate Sale Process
o Conducting an Estate Sale
o Hiring an Estate Sale or Brokerage Professional
o Further Reading
o Additional Resources
• Claiming Employee Benefits
o Death Benefit
o Annuity, Insurance, and Retirement Plans
o Pension Benefits
o Wages Due
o Other Employee Benefits
• Claiming Life Insurance
o Four Types of Life Insurance
• Claiming Social Security Benefits
o Death Benefit
o Survivor Benefits
o Social Security Administration: Application Information
o Documents Required to File for Social Security Survivor Benefits
• Claiming Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Military (Active Service) Benefits vs. Veterans Benefits
o Families Applying for Active Service Benefits
o Families Applying for Veterans Benefits
o Overview of Military (Active Service) Benefits
o How to Begin the Application Process for Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Privacy Act and Authorization for Disclosure of Information
o Documents Required to Apply for Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Funeral Arrangements for Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Transporting a Fallen Soldier’s Body by Air
o Military Branch Survivor Benefits
o Additional Military Resources
• Claiming Veterans Benefits
o Veterans Benefits vs. Military (Active Service) Benefits
o Overview of Veterans Benefits Available
o Required Documents to Apply for Veterans Benefits
o Request Military Service Records
o Veterans Benefits: Application Information
o Veterans Affairs Offices
o Survivors Assistance
o Funeral and Burial Benefits
o Funeral Honors
o Claiming Funeral and Burial Benefits
• Cleaning Out a Residence
o Sorting Personal Belongings
o Shredding Documents
⁃ Mobile Shredding Companies (will come to you)
⁃ Stores That Offer In-House Shredding
o Donation Resources
o Sell Items Yourself
o Shipping Services for Smaller Items
o Moving and Shipping Services
o Portable Storage and Moving Containers
o Storage Facilities
o Senior Relocation Services
o Cleaning Services
o Recycling and Waste Services
o Realtors
o Further Reading
• Vehicles
o Transferring a Vehicle’s Title at the DMV
o Car Insurance
o Selling a Car
o DMV Directory
o Car Brokers
o Car Shipping
o Donate a Car
• Relocating Pets
o Vet Certification
o Transporting Animals by Air
o Companies That Transport Animals by Air
o Companies That Transport Animals by Ground
o Airlines That Allow Pets as Carry-On
o No-Kill Animal Shelters
• Checklists
o First Things First
o After the Funeral
o With the Lawyer
o In Your Own Time
• Acknowledgments
• About the Author
Back to Buy the Book
© 2012 Vienna Woods, LLC | All rights reserved
