I was honored to be asked to do a series of blog posts for TheCaringBridge.org, the nation's foremost resource hub for friends and families coping with a health event.

The third post in this series addresses the isolation of grief. However, as powerless as you can feel, you may find strength in surrendering to what is versus what no longer is or will never be. I discuss the importance of allowing a true experience of emotions in Coping with Grief: Sink Into It. 

I'll be speaking at Congregation Har Hashem in Boulder on Sunday, August 18, 2013 from 2:30–4:30 pm.
Located at the 3950 Baseline Road in Boulder, CO, 80303.

The talk is free and open to the public. Coffee and treats are served and there’s plenty of parking.

I'll be speaking at the next chapter meeting of Compassion & Choices in Boulder on Saturday, July 20, 2013 from 10:00–11:30 am.
Located at the West Senior Center on 9th and Arapahoe in Boulder, CO.

All Compassion & Choices meetings are free and open to the public. Coffee and treats are served and there’s plenty of parking.

Learn more ...

I was honored to be asked to do a series of blog posts for TheCaringBridge.org, the nation's foremost resource hub for friends and families coping with a health event.

The second post in this series addresses caretakers themselves. Who takes care of the caretaker? I address the importance of caring for oneself in To Thine Own Self Be True.

I was honored to be asked to do a series of blog posts for TheCaringBridge.org, the nation's foremost resource hub for friends and families coping with a health event.

Check out the first installment, entitled Power to the Patient.

Costs
The expense of a memorial service is significantly less than that of a funeral. The greatest cost, generally, is that of the venue. Rental of a reception or event hall usually includes chairs; if the ceremony is outside or at a home, you can arrange for chairs through an event equipment rental company, which will deliver and pick them up. Prices increase with additional accouterments (candles, flowers, photo arrangements, balloons, doves, butterflies, and so on).

Memorial Service Checklist:

___Select the date
___Select a tone
___Select a venue
___Rent chairs
___Create a guest list
___Choose an officiant
___Select music for the ceremony
___Select speakers for the ceremony
___Select additional memorial accouterments
___Prepare and print memorial programs
___Write and submit the obituary


Safety Precaution
Some thieves check obituary notices and target homes they know will be vacant during a memorial service. If possible, arrange for someone to safeguard the deceased’s home during that time.

I'll be speaking at the next chapter meeting of Compassion & Choices in Boulder on Saturday, March 9, 2013 from 10:00–11:30 am.
Located at the West Senior Center on 9th and Arapahoe in Boulder.

All Compassion & Choices meetings are free and open to the public. Coffee and treats are served and there’s plenty of parking.

Learn more at:
http://www.compassionandchoicesboulder.org/upcoming-meetings/

A good lawyer should be your staunchest ally. You should feel that your lawyer is acting in your best interests at all times and keeping you informed every step of the way.

Evaluate a lawyer in the same way you would a physician, your child’s pediatrician, or an accountant. Is this person someone you can trust and someone you feel comfortable with? Is this person knowledgeable and can he or she explain issues to you in a clear, concise way?

Even if you already have a lawyer, or the deceased’s lawyer is prepared to work with you, if you do not feel comfortable with him or that person in any way, you are 100 percent entitled to find someone else. Do not let anyone bully, belittle, or coerce you into working with someone you don’t feel is right for you.

Ask for referrals from friends and take the time for an exploratory phone call or meeting.

Locate a Lawyer in Your Area

The American Bar Association lists lawyers and legal resources by state as well as free legal help and court information.
http://apps.americanbar.org/legalservices/findlegalhelp/home.cfm

Find a probate lawyer in your area.
http://www.usa-probate.com/

Find an inheritance lawyer in your area.
http://www.lawyers.com/Inheritance/browse-by-location.html

I can’t do this. I can’t handle this. I’m here to tell you: Yes, you can. It will be hard, and unfortunately there’s no way to sidestep the pain, but you can do this. You can come through this darkness, and you can be okay.

Unfortunately, the only way through it is through it. No one and nothing can take the pain away. No amount of drugs, alcohol, destructive behavior, or endless distractions will help you avoid or lessen what is yours alone to experience.

If you find yourself slipping farther and faster, your hold on everything is still tenuous and unraveling quickly, or you realize you’ve arrived at an “uh-oh” point, contact a health care professional—a grief counselor, psychiatrist, or a doctor. Help is always available. In addition to counseling, you may be given medication to help you cope with the strain.

Most people don’t know that death renders all guardianship and power of attorney documentation invalid. If a person held guardianship or power of attorney for the deceased, that person will not have the authority to act on the decedent’s behalf in death. Power of Attorney is only valid when someone is alive.